Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Building a swingset


My niece's birthday is next Tuesday. This weekend, my sister and I put together a swingset for her. By "swingset," I mean "Deathtrap." At least it was after we got through with it.
The swingset was one of those do-it-yourself jobs from Wal-Mart. So we figured it'd be kind of easy. Insert Tab A into Slot B, Tighten Bolt D, etc.
Wrong.
The directions were written by someone who obviously was not a fan of the English language. The author of the instruction manual may have een slighted by an English teacher once, and decided to exact their revenge by slaughtering the language ever since.
Even the pictures were of no help, because important things like screws, nuts, bolts, and load-bearing structural components were helpfully omitted. As a result, we got quite a few things wrong. The genius of the instruction manual was that you don't know it's wrong until you are about three or four steps beyond that certain point on the instruction manual. Then you get to go back, take apart what you've accomplished, and turn some piece upside down, and put it back together.



As you can see above, we either got the directions wrong, or we bought the MC Escher model of child swingsets. That frame is supposed to be an equilateral triangle. We didn't discover that we had one side of the triangle installed upside down, so the bolt holes were several inches higher than those on the other post, until about one step from completion of the set.


As you can see above, we weren't exactly careful with throwing the ol' wood around. Some cricket gave his life in the name of child swingsets. It was nice to know there was some creature out there who had a worse time in the construction of this swingset than we did.

Cut to eight hours later and near dark, and we got it all together, and even in some semblence of what it looked like on the box. We were hot and tired, but when my niece came home, she gave out the greatest scream of joy I'd ever heard. We literally had to pry her away from the monkey bars that night, when it was too dark to see.

So I guess it was all worth it. Except maybe to that cricket.

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Poor cricket! You cricket killer!