Thursday, April 5, 2007
It's Easter. This is one of the greatest times of the year
No matter what religion you are, we can all get behind one thing: Peeps.
Peeps, for those who don't know, are quite simply the greatest candy ever created.
For starters, the wise and benevolent makers of Peeps start with marshmallows. Then they cut the marshmallows into cute little bunny or chick shapes. Then those are coated with colored sugar.
And that's all. The beautiful simplicity of Peeps right there, all in a sugary, sticky, sweet bundle.
They were also invented to keep dentists in business. Bite into one, and you can feel your tooth enamel dissolving away.
Quite frankly, Peeps may be the greatest and most cruel invention of mankind. Like everything else, they're meant in moderation, but are nearly impossible to take that way.
You eat one, and with the satisfaction of ripping apart a cute little baby chick guilt-free, you want another. And another. And another. Eventually, the whole package is gone, and you're faced with the realization that you might have some self-control issues. And a blood sugar imbalance.
That sugar high is awesome. I've never tried meth, but I believe the results are similar. Eat a row of Peeps, and much as you'd like to go to sleep after 86 hours, it's like “Sorry, I can't. My heart's racing, eyeballs are quivering, and there's spiders crawling all around inside my skin.”